“Ohhhhh Germany, how did you almost eff’’ up my entire life!”
We woke up in Brussels, missed our first train and were on our way to a city called Kaiserslautern, where we didn’t have an address to the Ball because Google sucked and Danielle’s aunt had to return to the states for an Emergency. We didn’t have a place to stay and had no idea how to speak a lick of German, and I’m talking not even how to say hello!
But by the grace of God, with Danielle data roaming we found a hostel on our train 10 minutes before our stop with the hopes that it was close to us! We got off the train in Kaiserslautern past 7pm, while the ball which we still didn’t know the location of had started at 6pm. We went to the taxi man who spoke no English and showed him the paper with the address of our hostel, hoping it was close by! He started driving and soon the meter reached 20 Euro and it didn’t look as if a hostel was coming up any time soon considering we were driving down long dark roads with what appeared to be woods on our left and right! Once I came to this sight, I started thinking… “I can not DIE in Germany… I didn’t tell my mother exactly what city in Germany I am in… Switch the Iphone to Emergency call with 112 ready( that’s the European Union emergency number)…” I gave Danielle that look at started thinking of everything that I had in my book bag , which was on my lap, that can be used as weapon: I started loosening my belt which would become my strangler, trying to think of ways to discretely get to my shoe strings. Then the dude pulled into a part of the forest up to one of the gates that you see on a farm that Jason is lurking in and was about to proceed to make a turn down this dirt road on our right, saying, “That way, that way” I said, “hell naw, turn around!!!” And On my left, Danielle was pulling out her mase and googling how to say, “Take me back to the station!” in German! Yes, people we were not about to be a feature of TAKEN #lbs! When he finally got back on the main road, we saw a building with some lights and then we saw children running around playing in a playground and we figured, “Aight we cool then!” We went into the hostel, which was really beautiful, and while the lady was checking us in started talking about our silent communications of how we would take down the taxi driver and steal his cab! LOL
When we finally checked into the hostel, I ordered wifi and proceeded to look for the address of the Armstrong Club, which was the location of the ball! We called a taxi and got dressed and when we said Armstrong’s Club luckily he knew where it was! At this point, all seemed well; We were looking good, on our way to the ball, and getting it cracking to the German radio station on our way!
THEN………………. We pulled up to the gate of an Army base, presented our passports and said we were there for the ball! The soldier looked at us and asked, “Do you have ID card?” and we were like, “No, we just have passports” and his response being, “Well, you can’t go in unless you have someone with an ID card with you.” So now we are standing at the gate stranded with no one to call inside the ball and Danielle’s cousin on a plane making her way to the states! Yeah, our wonderful weekend seemed to have come to a halt. Then Danielle made me start soliciting myself to passing cars, talking about I look good and that somebody will probably check us in…. FAIL! So we finally, got a number inside the club to the kitchen delivery services and one of the guys their helped us out so much by finding someone in the party upstairs and letting them know we were at the gate! After 45 minutes of waiting and debating whether to leave we were finally in the ball! IT WAS AMAZING!!!!
That night we stayed at Ms. Joyce’s crib, a woman of DST, and her house was Amazing! She had American television, the most comfortable couch, popcorn, Italian sparkling wine, and good convo! We spent our evening watching Princess and the Frog , SAW I (which made me realize just how old I was considering that came out when I was 14), and Madea Goes to Jail… clearly we barely wanted to sleep because we had a TV we understand!
The next day we went to the Airforce base and they had a place that was like a mall straight out of America... WITH AMERICAN FOOD!!!! I'm talking Captain Hooks and Mandarin Wok (which is what I enjoyed)! Unfortunately due to Danielle's obsession with Girl Scout Cookies (even though I had them for the time and they were good as hell) we missed our train by 2 minutes which meant skyping into my neophyte was not looking to happen!
So we caught a later train, ended up falling asleep on that train and had to schedule another train... At this point I was depressed because I knew there was no hope for my Neophyte...But, luckily Europe loves to give free wifi in restaurants and we found a Burger King where I could skype right outside the train station! So I threw on my tux and bowtie and skyped into the Neophyte at last. It marked one of the happiest days of my life and was a great ending to an AMAZING weekend.
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